Thanh the Temple Caretaker: A Story of Vietnam’s Healing
A Heartwarming Encounter in Rural Hanoi
On my last evening in rural Hanoi, after a brief homestay in a local farming community, I went to visit a small pagoda in the village with the family that hosted me. Upon my arrival at the pagoda, I quickly met the caretaker, Thanh, an 80-year-old sweet woman, all of 4’6″ tall. She reminded me of my mother Marcelle, Rose Natale, and my grandmother Carrie, a woman I never really got to know.
In most cases, there’s a priest that lives in the community and cares for the pagoda. Here in this small village, Thanh was the caretaker. Her job was to greet the visitors, clean the temple, and maintain the customs preserved for hundreds of years in this community place of worship. Warm and friendly, she invited me for green tea on the straw mat of the stone pagoda floor, and we quickly began to chat. Without many words spoken, we immediately became enamored with each other. I started to explain my travels here as an American, as she inched closer and closer to me.
Sometimes there’s a deep, unknown, mutual connection to people we’ve never met. These connections really aren’t meant to be understood, just welcomed, and this was one of them. We continued our talk about my travels as 8-10 elder women, dressed in traditional clothes, came into the dimly lit building and started sitting all around me. Thanh was asking most of the questions, as the others eagerly listened closely to my words through David, my interpreter and guide.
Questions about my family, living in America, and my life there quickly changed to me thanking them for making me feel so welcome, so far from home. “I love Vietnam,” I said, and shared stories of my first trip with Habitat for Humanity in 2016 to South Vietnam to build a brick-and-mortar home for a poor family there. I continued to tell them of my desire to return to Vietnam one day, and use my photography, videography, and writing skills, volunteering for organizations that serve the sick, poor, and elderly, helping to raise awareness for their cause. They could clearly see my intentions and feelings were genuine.
I then complimented Thanh and said how beautiful she was. With doubt in her voice as she touched her aged, wrinkled face, she said, “But I am so old.” I sincerely replied, “But age and looks don’t determine beauty. Beauty comes from the heart, the eyes, and kindness to others.” Immediately, the conversation shifted to a woman sitting to the right, and slightly behind me. She said, “I remember the Americans bombing us during the war. The speakers would go off, ’20 minutes until the Americans arrive,’ we were all so scared!” Then all of the women started talking willingly amongst themselves, remembering the events so clearly that had happened nearly 50 years ago.
Reflections on War and Reconciliation
They continued, “I remember the American they shot down, he was so tall and white,” she said. Now, me being American, 6’3″ tall, white, and sitting amongst all of these women discussing their war experience, still I couldn’t have felt more welcome. This speaks volumes about the Vietnamese people and is the main reason why I love Vietnam so much. It’s the people, their kindness, and their ability to heal, forgive, and move on.
If you can comprehend it, by the end of the Vietnam War, 7 million tons of bombs were dropped on Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. That’s more than twice the number of bombs dropped on Europe and Asia during World War II. Being in the north, many people I spoke to had fought in the war against the Americans or had families that did. An estimated 3.3 million people died in the war, including over 58,000 Americans. All for what?
Today, Vietnam is a young, prosperous, energetic, proud, independent country. They have forgiven, moved on with no blame to anyone, and have built an amazing country. My most remarkable journey covering 2,000 miles in 30 days in Vietnam has been a life-changing experience. I’ve had highs and lows, hit a wall, broke through, and continued to learn and grow every day. Each footstep, every drop of sweat, every dusty road I went down, and every time I packed up my bags to move on, reminded me that we all have the ability to heal and look forward to a brighter day. One day at a time, as they have in Vietnam.
I visited Thanh one more time the following morning to get this photograph. A reminder of that moment, and to see that one special person again, that’s me helping me find my way.
Gregory J.
